i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Randomize
