i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
