my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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