My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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