I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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