Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Just cropdusted the office
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
