Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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