Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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