Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize