it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
