So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
