People with herpes should wear stickers.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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