dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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