god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I will be naked everywhere
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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