sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
