I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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