that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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