I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
