im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
