how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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