A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
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