just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
