is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
