I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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