Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
