Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
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