office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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