somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he shaved USA in his pubs
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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