When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
my liver is dry heaving
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
