When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
