I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
