Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
