Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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