Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
