Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
