Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
