To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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