at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
