found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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