glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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