Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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