That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Randomize