YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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