we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
