i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
