There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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