ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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