i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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