I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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