you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
