your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
