google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
