He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
