I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
