Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
