is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
This show inspires me to have sex in space
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize