My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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