I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize