She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
