How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
MIDGETS
????
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Randomize
